Yeah.

So, C is playing soccer this spring in a local league. Friday was his first “practice.” We went up to the field and tried to figure out which gaggle of kids was the right team. Eventually, we found other parents waiting for the same coach we were. Two of the kids on the team are from C’s class in school, so they were happy to see each other.

Time passed and C, his friends and M started rolling down the hill. M thought this was great and after a long roll ran up to tell me “daddy, I love soccer!”

Coach shows up, team organizes, and practice begins. They stretch, they dribble, they grab the ball with their hands to put it where they want to kick it from. It’s entertaining and makes you wonder what the games are going to look like.

C is the 4-5 y.o. group, aptly named “the herd.” You can see why right away.

Then, practice gets odd. J, one of the kids from C’s class is getting excited about playing soccer. A little too excited. He is alternating between slapping the girls on the butt and punching the boys in the groin. It’s fun, right? I think I must have missed something or seen something wrong. But, no, he punches the boy in the groin and when they start to double over, he slaps them in the face.

I do not recall Maradona using this move.

“Who the hells kid is that?” I hear from behind me. Ah, the father of one of the other boys has also seen J’s new move. C has so far been spared the jubilant maneuver. Turns out, he is the son of one of the coach’s friends. Ah, I think, that was be helpful. But, no sooner is that thought out then J slaps one of the girls on the butt in sight of her mother. I think J’s days are now numbered. Or he’s fast-tracked for a special list…

At any rate, game 1 was rained out, so the team will have to wait to strut their stuff.