Poop, Inc.

Ah, vacation week.

So, we’re doing the tag team thing in staying home with the boys this week. But, with the craziness in Boston on Monday, we all decided to stay home yesterday. The boys were largely uninterested in us, as the weather was warm and the boys next door had yet to injure anyone. M attempted to ride his bike without training-wheels, but only for about 3 minutes.

As the afternoon wore on, M came in for snack number 38. He hopped up on the counter and told me he had something exciting to tell me. I washed an apple for him and asked what the news was.

“We found human poop,” he announced and set to devouring his snack. “It was by the tree, on the sidewalk, first we thought it was dog poop, but it’s definitely human. It looks like it’s 2 or 3 weeks old.”

I was torn between being impressed by the Sherlockian quality of his investigation and trying to not laugh hysterically at the way his emphasized ‘human.’ If he was writing, it would be “HUMAN poop.” I decided the play along however.

“Are you sure it wasn’t a dog?” He gave me “the look.” “No, dad. we thought maybe, but we tested it and it was human poop.”

Tested it? Dare I ask? “Okay, how did you test it?” I pre-cringed for the answer.

“C poked it with a stick. It was Human poop.”

And that was it. The apple was finished, the poop forgotten and they were off for more shenanigans. I never got to ask why the neighbors might have human poop in their yard, or on the sidewalk, or what has happened to it. There was no sign of it today, so I am going to blissfully assume that it was cleaned up and has not been stored somewhere for later testing.

Poop.

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