[Note: This is the point where I ignore the fact that I haven’t written in weeks. Writer’s block mixed with vacation and summer craziness is a killer…]

So, at what point does the crust on bread become evil, and when does the evil subside? I only ask because we used to love crust. Well, okay, we didn’t love it, but we didn’t hate it. In fact, up until about a year ago, I don’t think we even knew that bread had crust. Now? Crust is the enemy.

I don’t remember ever hating crust myself. Nowadays, I love the crust on bread, all the hidden flavors, etc. I asked my mother about it recently, but she couldn’t recall whether I went through a crust-hating phase or not.

We have been exceedingly lucky with the boys and eating. They love food, have wild palates and don’t generally turn their noses up at much of anything (unless they think it will annoy us). We started each boy off on the right track, plain cereal before flavored, vegetables long before fruit and when they were ready, they always ate the same thing as we did for dinner.

C only had one weakness, and even that started as a joke. It was mushrooms. We jokingly (neither of us like them) cut up some cooked mushrooms for him one night, and then for about a year he wouldn’t eat a meal without them. M never latched onto the fungus, though. Pizzas in our house are still half mushroom, half cheese. M’s thing was vegetables, though. For the longest time we thought he was going to be a vegetarian. Fruit was okay, meat and chicken were right out, it was vegetables of bust for him. Neither was a bad thing, really.

Each has adapted their tastes. Indian, Middle Eastern, you name it, they love it. Talapia is a go to food. Olives (provided they are not Calamata), peppers, lobster, shrimp, you name it, they inhale it.

But not crust.

“It’s burned!” “It has seeds that hurt my teeth!” “I think it’s evil!”

You name it, we’ve heard the excuse. Nothing I can say will convince them otherwise. I tried showing them that rolls are covered in crust. No dice, rolls are exempt because they are delicious. Pretzels? Nope, delicious (and salty) exemption again (and they can be dipped in either peanut butter or Nutella…). Crust on toast is almost acceptable, but not quite. In their minds, all bread should be crust free. I refuse to cut the crust off their sandwiches, but I know they’re not eating it. The trash cans at camp are likely filled with discarded crust. We dabbled with crustless bread, but there always something off for one boy or the other. C didn’t like the taste of the bread shaped like goldfish, M didn’t like the rounds that had “seeds.”

So, for now, we have the pointless debate about crust. They demand it be removed, I demand they eat it. I don’t, neither do they.

Crusty stalemate.